Ok, so usually if I get as far as packing my gym gear, it doesn't get to see anymore than my suitcase.
This time, I actually used it! I know, incredible right? It's ok, I'm just as shocked. All these baby steps I have made has actually led me down a path I never actually thought I would visit. I actually CHOSE to exercise this afternoon.
We managed to finish on time today and I had the afternoon to myself. After a take away lunch and sitting in an office all day, I felt disgusting. I was heavy in my stomach, I had a headache, a back ache and I just felt lousy!
So I just made the decision that I would go to the gym. I didn't give one thought to "oh my gosh, people are going to look at me" and just made the decision to go. It felt great! I went on one of those cross-trainers and it just felt good.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not enrolling in the next tri-athalon or anything, but it just felt like my body was processing the food that I ate at lunch. It got to 10 mins and I was ready to say "yep, surely this counts as exercise!"...but I remembered something my husband told me. As soon as you're ready to give up, keep going! I know, craaaaazy! Apparently it's this "going the extra" that really makes a difference. So I did!
I kept going. I focused on a point on the wall and just kept pumping. Then, get this, an older man got onto the machine next to me and was going faster than me. I don't know about you, but this made me focus on how fast he was going, and made me keep going! I think it's because I had a different focus. I didn't concentrate on the minutes going by, or how hard I was finding it...or that I just didn't want to break out as the 'fat woman who has gone all red in the face'. I was distracted by this old guy going faster than me and I just had to prove a point!
I kept going.
I got to the 18 min mark and from there, it was the longest 2 mins of my life!!! However, I had gotten this far, so I pushed some more...and not to expand on these two minutes anymore...I made it to the 20mins!
Shock horror! I felt amazing!!!
Exhiliarated even!
A champion even! Cue "Eye of the Tiger"...